Monday, 19 May 2014

STRANGE PEOPLE FROM THE FUTURE


Meeting an old friend, 
After a long, long time
Is like sending yourself a 
Postcard.
Only that it gets lost,
Somewhere in the middle.
And wanders off with mails
Of other destinations.
It is in transit for years and years,
And soon you doubt, 
That in the first place,
Was it even sent?
It only thrives on memory,
Resting in the unfrequented corners
Of your evolving mind.
It is an unparalleled proof,
Of the good old days. 
It is that funny nostalgia
Which appeals to all
The Five Senses.
It is like that treasure,
From a different lifetime.
One stormy day 
It does finally arrive,
Bringing the essence
Of all the fine places it has absorbed.
To be greeted, however
Not by familiar faces.
Instead, cherished and celebrated
By, for all that is worth,
Strange people from the future.

Thursday, 10 April 2014

RAT'S ASS


In crowded hallways and all places public, we have all had intense eye-contact moments. With random strangers. Sometimes we ignore. Many times we are creeped out. Other times we are game. For a session of hot and reciprocated stare. Okay, no heat, but reciprocation, yes. And as scientists who have closely observed social behaviour in Antarctica, suggest, we might go down in history as level amateur bad-ass people. (There, there, hold your champagnes yet.)

My peanut of a brain has rigged images of bad-assery for me. I am sure you will relate. Think bad-ass. Think Bear Grylls. Think Bruce Willis. Or Seal Team Six, anybody? Think Evey Hammond. Or Uma Thurman. Think Bane. Think Lara Croft. Or Walter White. (Breaking Bad-ass.) Random thought number one: Notice the lack of hair in half the people here.

You don't actually have to be bad and live on the edge to be badass. Free-spirited and having an eye for adventure in life's tiniest details works. Listening to your inner Beelzebub can be fun sometimes. But only a little, because you sure don't want to deal with Karma later. It is good to be careless and not give a shit sometimes.

It is okay to pose stupid for the CCTVs. Bunk classes. Dress inappropriately. Venture into restricted places. Sneak out. Manage multi-personalities. Pull practical pranks. Guys will understand this; use a urinal which is next to an occupied one, in an otherwise empty row of urinals. *Urinal politics gone wrong, anyone?*

Be careful of other imposter asses. Here's a small walk-through that will help. You took the pills your vet prescribed? Sick-ass. Literally. You bought Apple shares when they were cheap? Smart-ass. You got upgraded to Business Class at no extra charge? Lucky-ass. You pelted stones at Yuvi's house over some World Cup? Dumbass. You took a selfie in the loo and shared it all over internet? Insta-ass. Yes, I like all my puns intended.
Random thought number two: Doesn't selfie seem like a legit euphemism? I gave myself a quickie or ummm...selfie! Think about it.

Don't confuse innocent badassery for notoriety. You don't want to be that prick who is conveniently hated. Don't get personal and more importantly, don't be a badass at somebody else's expense. 

Being bit of a badass will add to your charm. It is like a crooked next level of a good sense of humour. A tinge of bad-assery will take you a long way. And so will those heavily endorsed extra-mile fuels. Same pinch, huh?


Sunday, 2 February 2014

WANDERLUST

There is funny solace

In length of the road

And the breath of destination.


If I could be anybody

I would be a secret, 

Kept alive by centuries of tradition; 

Native to some,

And yet mystery to most.



I want to see everything,

Be everyone,

And get lost in my own translation.

If I finish soon

And if it's not too late,

Then take me home.


Thursday, 16 January 2014

Skewed Opinion: Black

She was a young inhibited girl in a family of little or no means. She had never had friends. She wasn't unfriendly but was too timid to talk to anybody. She read somewhere that sharing food leads to making new and good friends. With hard found courage, she took a leap of faith in accordance, the next day, and made a friend. She was still doubtful. She tried sharing food again, the following day, and it worked. She was euphoric. She now had the secret. Foolproof. Eventually she had many friends. The peak of social popularity was soon conquered. Everybody loved the food and her.

She died of malnutrition a few months later.

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Skewed Opinion: White

It was the last day of the year, and this man woke up to a sense of a mid-life crisis of sorts. He had been a big time judgemental bloke since as long as he could remember. And this was burning a hole in his systeam of peace. He made the necessary amends in his personality and next day woke to a thoroughly cleansed soul. He was not judgemental of people any longer. Beat the urge to look for flaws. Learnt to accept people as they were. And welcomed all of humanity, for the first time, with open arms.

This was the single most career-wrecking move in the life of a high-ranking and respected Judge.


Sunday, 29 December 2013

Delusional Diaries: Zero Zero One

One of these days Martin Scorsese will be sworn as the President. But, until that happens, I'll have to contain my feelings. Probably riding a unicorn in cowboy attire, the way I do, will help display my emotions. Joyous emotions. And of course, to know that Scarlett Johansson has finally accepted my dinner proposal, will give me two things to look forward to now.  
One plus one reasons for celebration, that is. Two toasts. Martin and Scarlett Johansson. One for Prez and the other for dinner. I mean to have dinner with. That was honestly by mistake. Not a dig at the gourmet cannibal community. Who, in their right mind, would want to offend the cannibals?